I often hear the phrase, “Treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend.” How often do we actually do that? In my case, not as often as I should. I tend to extend kindness, patience, and understanding to others while harshly criticizing myself. Can you relate?
Radical self-compassion is about changing that dynamic—learning to be our own best friend, especially in moments of struggle. At its core, self-compassion means acknowledging our pain without judgment. Instead of berating ourselves for mistakes, we can offer words of encouragement to ourselves, just as we would to a loved one. Imagine telling a friend, “You’re such a failure,” after they make a mistake—unlikely, right? Yet, we say these things to ourselves all the time.
Here are five actionable steps to help you practice radical self-compassion and become your own best friend:
Rewrite Your Inner Critic – Throughout the day, notice negative self-talk. When you catch yourself being self-critical, write the thought down and reframe it with a kinder, more encouraging statement. Example: Change “I messed up, I’m so stupid” to “Mistakes are part of learning. I did my best, and I can grow from this.”
Practice a Self-Compassion Break – When facing a difficult moment, place your hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and say:
“This is a moment of suffering.” (Acknowledging the struggle)
“Suffering is part of being human.” (Recognizing you’re not alone)
“May I be kind to myself in this moment.” (Offering yourself compassion)
Write Yourself a Love Letter – Imagine you are writing to a dear friend who is struggling. Offer words of encouragement, support, and kindness. Now, read the letter back to yourself as if it was written for you.
Set a Self-Compassion Reminder – Pick a daily habit (brushing your teeth, making coffee) and attach a self-compassion practice to it. For example, each time you look in the mirror, say one kind thing about yourself.
Engage in Comforting Self-Care – Identify one small act of kindness you can do for yourself each day. It could be drinking a warm cup of tea, taking a slow walk, journaling, or simply giving yourself permission to rest without guilt.
Which one of these steps resonate with you? Can you think of other ways to show yourself self-compassion? I would love to hear from you in the comments section below.
Finally, remember that self-compassion is not self-indulgence; it’s a necessary foundation for resilience and growth. When you treat yourself with kindness, you cultivate the strength to navigate life’s challenges with grace. So today, take a deep breath, soften your self-talk, and remember—you deserve the same love you so freely give to others. 💙
If you would like to schedule a complementary coaching session to discuss how you can bring self-compassion into your life, click on the link below. I look forward to chatting with you.
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